Thank You, Lord.

Thank you, Lord, for this new assignment. It was a privilege to be given the last one and I am sorry I still have so much to learn. Sebastian has told me you want him to teach me all about this new household and that you want me to furnish you with a report each week. He will review them to make sure I don't miss anything important. He is a handsome creature in his gray tuxedo and we do make a fine matched pair (at least that's what I heard the lady staff member say, yesterday).

So far the den seems to be everything a cat could desire; the staff members are punctual in providing food and drink; they supplement our cleaning with a wonderful invention they call a brush; they understand their responsibilities for stroking and scratching in appropriate places and have made adequate provisions for sleeping. I do not understand their penchant for immersing themselves in water, which they seem to do almost every hour of every single day. You'd think they would have learned, by now, how to use their tongues and paws as you have shown us. Is this perhaps something I am still to learn about them? Sebastian doesn't know either.

Sebastian seems to think I have still to learn to act with proper dignity and decorum but I am sure you will understand - it is hard to be dignified when he has such tempting tail (so perfect for a subtle nip now and again to remind him not to be so stuffy). He said I should remove that last sentence, Lord, but I know you would want me to be honest about my behavior. Yes, I know. The report is supposed to be about the humans ...

The head staff member has been sitting most of the week in front of a series of books which he props up on the table to read. He then wiggles his fingers over a black keyboard and some strange marks appear on a thing Sebastian said was a screen. The lady staff member does the same thing as well - when she isn't making food come out of strange hot objects. She puts it on things Sebastian calls plates (but they don't look anything like the plates we eat from) which she and the head staff member take away to eat from.

I notice they pause to play with water, (OK "wash") then give you thanks before they eat. Sebastian says that's the way they have always done it but it still seems an odd way to do things. How much more sensible to give thanks when you know what it is you have eaten and can thank you for the taste as well as providing it. And they never seem to play with their food - but then, it might be too early to tell. I'll need to observe more in that regard.

Sebastian says I have taken too long with this report so I shall close and send you another next week. Once again, thank you, Lord, for trusting me with this assignment - I will do my best to keep you informed of my progress.

Sophie, assistant people watcher.